what and if

i just saw the movie letters to juliet just now and a line from it caught my attention more than any part of the story.

what and if.
two words as nonthreatening as words come.
but put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life.
"what if?..."

those lines are part of the letter for claire sent by sophie in the movie.

two words that seem to not mean anything, but when put together could just make you think of the what-might-have-been. true. i totally agree to this. life has it's own way of telling us that there is a reason for our past not being part of our present and future but until that day when enlightenment dawns on us we were sometimes faced with the question:"what if?..."

every single life changing decision we had could have resulted and lead us to a completely different place in our lives if we had it other way. so as those small, insignificant details have the same bearing as well. the thing is we always find ourselves bumped and bruised answering the question "what if?". even in the well-thought-of decisions in our lives, when we could actually not ask the question and maybe just start acting on it. why ask when you could actually see for yourself how things would turn out? maybe it's not too late to do so.

but considering those things that can't be changed anymore i think it's best not to ask "what if?" but rather accept the things as they are. it would be useless to cry over spilt milk, right? maybe we could just channel our energies on making things work for us despite how things ended up. here is a chance for us to turn things the other way around, that other way is our way. it could be an epic fail or our biggest success but either way it will be for the best because we took control of the situation and did it the way we want.

"what if?...".

for a while i was like flooded with my own long list of what-might-have-beens. i was pensive. but then i thought that if things didn't happened as they did, i wouldn't be the person i am today. i am not perfect and that's ok. i know that those bad experiences, all the failures, heartaches, disappointments, frustrations although all painful and might left a scar or two, made me feel human and very much grounded. i felt more alive than ever. i'm not masochistic, i don't enjoy pain of course. but it just reminds us that life isn't perfect so do each and everyone of us. i know that my perfectly flawed self is the best version of me and i wouldn't have it any other way.

so the next time i encounter "what if?" i will just read it as two nonthreatening words: what and if.